So a rather monumental case went through the US Supreme Court today, and Obamacare was held up! Go figure that enabling almost all Americans to have health coverage should be so controversial…but what was interesting was the Twitter outrage that came from it…and well…see the link below for just how some right wingers took and what they plan to escape the “socialism” that is Obamacare.
So while I beg forgiveness of all my American family and friends, I thought I would take a moment to give some advice for Americans to consider before they move on up across the 49th parallel and seek out job prospects in our superior economy…oops…did I slip that in there?
First off, you are picking a GREAT time to move…Canada Day is July 1st! You can get in your fireworks a few days early and then not worry about a silly midweek holiday. Now let’s get to the list of all you have to look forward to in Canada…as you escape socialism.
1> We have universal healthcare! That means the moment you become a Canadian citizen you are covered! No worrying about being forced to buy insurance against your will…you just pay “slightly” higher taxes to be covered for anything! Yes that includes those pesky pre-existing conditions.
2> Full support for a woman’s right to choose…read that as….abortions are legal! Yep, even our right wingers up here won’t open up that can of eggs, so you never have to worry about random bombings…hell we don’t even let our protestors of clinics be on the same sidewalk!
3> Gay marriage! Yep, we’ve had gay marriage on the books for a few years now, and go figure, but the world hasn’t collapsed, the sky hasn’t fallen, there isn’t a sudden upsurge in corrupted youth (well depending on how you feel about Justin Bieber I suppose). I even have a client that is a church that caters to the LGBT crowd. Wonderful people. There’s even a fantastic street party coming up…on Church St. in Toronto. All you newcomers should really attend…just watch out for the water guns.
4> Oh and speaking of guns…umm…you can’t have them. Period. Well sure if you want to live on a farm you can have a rifle or shotgun maybe, but heavily regulated and don’t even think about pistols. We don’t like em up here. So I expect Buffalo, Seattle, and other border type places will have piles of guns being left at the borders. Oh but don’t worry, you don’t need them…our crime rates are exponentially lower up here. Maybe its that cold weather…or the lack of…guns…
5> We don’t have snow all the time! In fact we didn’t really get any snow this past winter in Toronto. You see a good portion of Canadians (well except Albertans and Progressive Conservatives…but that’s another post) actually believe in global warming! And no it isn’t caused by all our gay marriages…at least we assume that the case…science kinda backs that up.
6> We pay our teachers, firefighters and policepeople (gotta be PC, you know how polite we Canadians are) very well. Oh sure they get teased about holidays and such, but you don’t often find teachers having to take two jobs. Oh and you know the whole “higher order thinking” thing you may have heard being bad for kids? We actually encourage it!
Now admittedly there are some downsides (I mean really was anything all that bad up there?). First off…our taxes. Look I know you all down south complain about your taxes but really…you got NOTHING to complain about. Complaining about taxes is more common than complaining about the weather (that global warming thing actually makes a lot of the year quite pleasant). So yeah you do have to accept the higher taxes…but that does mean you get better road…well compared to Ohio…New York…Georgia….Pennsylvania…Florida…well you get the point. And I’d say our bridges aren’t falling but…well just avoid the Gardiner Expressway for…well the next few years and you’ll be fine.
Now just remember…we don’t have a President. We have a Prime Minister. Technically the leader of the government is still Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth…but that’s just for ceremony. Hell we even have Senators…but they do just about as much as yours do to help make government function…so no big change there.
So…if after all that you feel you are ready to escape the socialism of the Obama regime and the horror of Obamacare….come on up!
Just one piece of advice? You might want to actually read up on what socialism REALLY is first…
Just a thought…
Oh and one last thing? No we don’t have death panels in our medical system. Thank you Sarah Palin for that one…I wonder if she saw something in Russia from her back window and mistook the flag for Canada.
(end of a very very tongue in cheek post…feel free to flame away…just…seriously…armed insurrection against HEALTH care?)
Welcome to Canada!